Tuesday, May 29, 2012

May 29th, 2012

Sorry I did not post yesterday.  It has been a good two days and we have been hanging with the Gokee family in the hospital the past couple of days.  Cooper is in the hospital because he had a fever and his counts were really low.  We hate that he is in the hospital...we are praying for his counts to come up so that he can go home.  But, it has been nice having them here and being able to hang together.  The past two days, we have been together in the morning and then normally we head to the 3rd floor patio in the afternoon and stay there through dinner until 8 pm or so.  We play Monoply Deal, we talk, we laugh, we tell stories and honestly it has been an awesome time to get to know them better.  Once again, the circustance is not what we want but we are making the best of where we are.

Caleb is currently getting chemo.  The chemo he is getting runs 24 hours a day for 5 days.  He started it Sunday morning, so we are here until Friday morning.  The good thing is that these meds should not cause his counts to drop and thus we do not have to do the daily shot when we go home. 

We have his normal clinic visit next Thursday and then we check back in on June 14th for his final round of chemo.  It will be identical meds that this current chemo treatment is. 

After that, he will get scanned again...this time it will include a bone marrow test again...and believing that all will be clear we will be done.  We will then schedule for his port to come out and start having check ups every 3 months for awhile.

Caleb has felt good today, but not great.  The current chemo he is getting has the potential for flu like symptoms and he has been having several of them.  This evening, he was feeling sick at his stomach and said that his bones were achy.  The nurses have been awesome as far as treating his symptoms, but it still doesn't mean that he is without them.  So, pray for small or no side effects, or pray for grace to get through them all.

Caleb was also feeling a bit tired today, so we took a nap together.  That was awesome and I think the only way he would have gone to sleep...not alone but with company.  So, we slept.  He probably would have slept longer, but as is normal in a hospital, someone came in and made a little noise and it woke him up.  He seemed to feel a lot better after his nap though.  Who doesn't?

So, things are good.  We are just doing our best to kill time.  It isn't always easy, but as Dr. Dan says, there are worse things than being bored.  As I said, having Cooper and his family here helps a lot. 

I will try and post more tomorrow.  It will be a  busy day with a few meetings and work, but I will do my best to keep you updated on what is happening.

Have a great night!

Grace and Peace

Sunday, May 27, 2012

May 27th, 2012

Today has been a good day!  But, lets start with the rest of yesterday.

Caleb did not wake up well from his LP.  He was a beast.  When the meds finally wore off, he was good, but it was a rough patch there for a bit.

Caleb slept really well last night and has had a great day.  He went to sleep pretty early and slept through the night.  He didn't have any meds, so there was little interruption and thus he was able to sleep.

Cully, Seth and I went to church this morning and then headed up to the hospital when it was over.  Lisa and Jeff Knudson (friends from church) brought up lunch.

Cooper, Caleb's friend with cancer as well, has not been doing good.  I think I posted a few days ago that his counts were really low.  He has had a fever the past couple of days and so he is actually in the hospital as well.  We are all down on the 3rd floor hanging out.  Jeff (his dad) and Ben (his brother) actually ate lunch with us.  Cooper wasn't feeling well so he stayed back in the room.

Caleb is getting some recovery meds right now and then it is back down on the 3rd floor patio for some more fresh air.  We are hanging with the Gokee family and a few other friends.

I will post more later. Just wanted to get something up to let you know we are doing good and just trying to do whatever we can to fill the time.

I will post more later!

Grace and Peace

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Suffering- Part 4

In her book, Stumbling Toward Faith, Renee Alston tells her story about a father who was abusive in her childhood.  This situation was even more extreme because her dad was a leader in their church and as horrible as it sounds, would quote scriptures and sing hymns while he was abusing her.  Obviously, this gave her a distorted view of the church and more importantly a distorted view of God.

Her book is about her journey of wanting nothing to do with God, especially viewing God as Father, and how she came back to faith.  It wasn't a smooth journey but a journey that led back to a God of grace and love.

In this post, I want to talk briefly about what our response might be to those who are suffering.  Just as I believe that those who are in the midst of suffering should enter into it, I also believe that the way that we help others is that we "enter into" their suffering with them.  This isn't easy.  It takes time, sometime money, it costs us emotional hard times, spiritual hard times, it causes us to question, and everything that we thought we once knew could be called into question.  That isn't easy!

Alston said that the church was often a place that made the wounds deeper rather than help heal the wounds. Most often, people were more interested in saying things that made themselves feel better rather than her.  They were more interested in keeping their theological framework in tact rather than entering into the hurt, pain, and questions.  She said:

"People feared for my salvation and their own expectations of Christianity were threatened.  My pain didn't fit into their carefully prescribed solutions, their falsely created illusions of "what God does" and "who God is".  My questions, my despair, my broken stilted half-destroyed faith wasn't good enough for their pat answers and had no place among them.  They wanted a God who changed lives, who eliminated doubt and fear, who was greater than any situation, any person's pain."  


Don't mis-read what she said.  She believes God is bigger than everything...however, sometimes people would say that because God is that big that he should get rid of everyone's pain and problems.  As I stated in an earlier post, I am not sure that is very Biblical.  He didn't get rid of darkness or the water, but entered into it.  If people believe in a God that gets rid of all bad situations and they meet someone going through a bad situation, they have to figure out why and what is wrong so that they don't have to rethink their view on God.  This is very hurtful and isolating.  Once again, people say the nicest things but sometimes they are also very hurtful.  They don't mean too, but once again, they seem to be making themselves and their view of God make sense in the midst of the pain.          


When Caleb was first getting his biopsy done (I may have posted about this earlier...not sure so if it is a repeat, feel free to skip down) we were in the waiting room.  We had just found out that he might have cancer the night before and they were finding out for sure.  As parents, we were a mess.  We had a ton of people from the church around us and praying for us.  We turned that waiting room into a prayer room!

The hospital chaplain was called and asked to come and chat with us a bit without us knowing it.  He knelt down beside us and asked a question.  He told us who he was and asked, "How are you feeling?"  What a question!  I am sure it was easy to see the tears and hear the sobs and realize that things were not good.  I think Tera said something like, "what do you mean...my son has cancer.  How am I supposed to feel?"  I can't remember how the rest of the conversation went, but I remember sitting there thinking, "I know you are trying to do your job, but you are speaking as an outsider.  We have all these people here who have chosen to enter into this situation with us.  That is what we need...that is what is helping.  We don't need answers, we need support and love.  We don't need you to tell us where God is, we need to FEEL God around us.  We don't need to hear how big God is, we need to FEEL how big God is."  He eventually asked us what faith we were.  I told him I was a pastor and that all the people in the lobby were from the church to journey with us through this situation.  He did his best (I think) and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.   But, he also had an idea about who God was and instead of entering into the journey with us, he asked a lot of pat questions and gave a lot of pat answers.

I have asked myself, "What could he have done or said that would have been better?"  I am not saying I have all of the answers or that he doesn't do his job well.  I guess what would have been more comforting for us that day would have been for him to say, "I can't imagine what you are going through right now (or, I know exactly what you are going through...I have been there also), is there anything I can do for you?  Do you need anything?  Can I just sit here?  Would you like to pray?  Please, let me know.   I am here to be with you and if you need anything, let me know."  Once again, I am not sure if anything would have helped in that moment...but patten answers really didn't help either.


I really think that when we enter into the situations of life with those who are hurting and allow ourselves to be vulnerable with them, God uses that beyond any words or answers we can speak or give.

Renee describes her pastor and how he helped her ultimately come back to faith.  She says:
"My friend is a pastor but he didn't bring God back to me with words.  He didn't just preach hope and life, he lived it...he still lives it.  He helped bring life and hope to me.  He saw my deadness and my brokenness and entered into it instead of trying to talk me out of it.  He acknowledged my despair and then quietly, without words, pointed the way to something bigger than him.  He pointed me to springtime and light and life, all the while acknowledging the winter, the darkness, the pain."


He didn't try to explain away the darkness but rather lived hope in the midst of it.  Once again it isn't easy, but I am not sure it was ever said that life was.  It is much easier, like Job's friends, to stand back and try to figure out why Job is going through it.  It is much harder to say, "I don't understand it all but we are going to do this together.  I have a lot of questions about why and how, but I am going to enter into this with you and we will find God together in the midst of it."

So, when you see someone going through a rough time, be slow to speak and quick to enter into whatever is they are going through with them.  It will cost you a lot...know that for sure.  But, it will help those who are suffering and you might just learn more about who God is and where He is in the mist of suffering as well.

Just some thoughts!

A New Day- May 26th, 2012

Caleb had a long night.  It wasn't long because he felt bad but long because the nurse came in a lot to check vitals and tried to get him to pee.  The chemo he had last night was one that had to get flushed out before we could start the next med.  So, they continually came in, especially in the morning, to get him to pee.  They wanted to keep checking to see if they could start the next med.  By the time he pee was clear, it was time to head out for his LP.

So, he is currently back getting his LP.  It literally only takes 5-10 minutes.

After that, we will head back up to room 7106 to continue this round of chemo.  He has a 3 hour drip today and then I think we start something else.  I will have to find out to make sure.

So, i will keep you posted.

Grace and Peace

Friday, May 25, 2012

Recap May 25th, 2012

What a crazy day!  I have had such a different span of emotions today.

I woke up at 4:20 am to head to the church.  Our teens are on a weekend trip to San Diego.  Since Caleb was starting chemo and getting it all weekend, I obviously stayed home.  But, I went to help Andy, Joni and the other leaders get everyone registered and on their way.  We love Elevate and was sad that we were not able to attend this year.  It is one of our families favorite trips!

Then, at 11 am, we got our amazing news...full remission.  There is nothing else that would have been better!  Caleb's cancer is gone!  The doctors has told us that the news would be good...but remission wasn't something that really entered into our minds.  What an amazing thing to hear and experience!  We would have been blessed either way...once again, God's blessing happens in the midst of it all.  But, we are overwhelmed and excited beyond belief!

After that, we heard that Cooper didn't have such a good day.  His counts are super low and his treatment is going to run a lot longer.  We hurt for our new friends.  They are super happy for and with us for Caleb.  So, we are learning what it means to celebrate a victory and hurt for friends at the same time.  I wish I could say it was easy, but it is quite difficult.  So, please, please, please do two things for us tonight (or today, whenever you read it)...sing a song of thanksgiving for our family and continue to offer up prayers for the Gokee family.

This is what is on tap for us as a family from this point forward...Caleb will continue on his treatment plan.  He is literally getting ready to start his 3rd round of treatment as I type this.  He is taking his last pre-med right now and then we start a few minutes later.  Caleb will be in the hospital till Thursday morning sometime getting chemo every day...sometimes all day.  After that, we will go home for a couple of weeks.  There will still be some highs and lows as we journey through the rest of the treatment.  Although his scans show no cancer, Dr. Rosen said that there could be little hints that do not show up on the scans.  So, we will still have the last two treatments to treat and make sure every cell that looks, smells, or has a hint of cancer is killed and destroyed.

We will start the 4th cycle on June 14th.  It will be identical to the current cycle.  After that is over, he will have one more final scan...including a bone marrow draw and scan as well.  If all of that still comes back as negative, which at this point there is no reason to believe it shouldn't, we will take the port out and we are done.

From that point, we will have check up CT scans every 3 months for awhile.  I asked how long and the doctor said a long time.  So, I am not sure what that means, but it really doesn't matter.  Caleb is cancer free and we are celebrating!

So, it has been a long day but a good day!  We ask for continued prayers as we still have a journey left over the next month.

We will keep you posted throughout the week so that you know how to pray and how Caleb is doing.

Grace and Peace

The Results are back

FULL REMISSION!  Caleb's scans are back and there is no cancer!

What this means is that he will have 2 more rounds of chemo and we are done!  We have this round and then the one that follows.  The Dr. said it is to make sure it is gone and there is nothing left behind!

So, we are super excited!  Hard to know what to say.  Just overwhelmed and blessed!

I will post more later!

Grace and Peace

Pictures from Caleb's Pool Party and Last Day of School

Here are some pictures of the last couple of days!  I hope you enjoy them!

Caleb's class had a pool party!  Here they are!

Here, Caleb is getting his award during his school's awards chapel.  This is him with Mrs. Henderson his teacher!

Here are the boys (and Cully) from his class!

Here is his class with their teacher!

Last night, Caleb's principle was over at our house bringing us home made strawberry jam.  While she was here, we were talking about school next year and Caleb asked, "So, will I get to start school when everyone else starts school next year?"  We do not know for sure, but we told him that it will more than likely happen.  He then let out a big, "YES!"  He loves his school and he loves his class.  They have grown together and have an awesome bond with each other!  We never expected to put our children in a private school, but for our situation it has been amazing!  We love the people and children who attend!  They have been an awesome support for us through all of this!  We are looking forward to next year and can't wait for Cully to start as well!  I know he is ready!


A Big Day

Today is a huge day!  We find out so much information today that I am a little nervous.  We are going in hoping for the best and expecting nothing.  Here is how our day will break down.

We meet with Dr. Rosen at 11 am to get the results from the PET Scan and CT scan.  That is when we will see what the future holds for us and what the chemo has been able to do to the cancer.  At 1:30, Caleb will get his 1st LP of this cycle.  It will be a bit different though, which we hope doesn't freak Caleb out.  They said they are slammed today where they normally do LP's due to the holiday and wanting to try and get everyone in before the weekend so the doctors do not have to come in on Monday. So, they are going to do his LP in the clinic.  This is nothing new for them, but they do it a bit different.  Caleb will have medicine to help him not know exactly what is happening and make him loose, but it will not be full sedation.  Once again, he will have no idea and will more than likely be asleep.  But, it is something new and he doesn't do well with change.  So, that is a prayer concern for sure.

After the LP, we will get moved to the 7th floor to start our next cycle of chemo.  We have no idea for how long...it is all based on what they found on the scans.  We are expecting 4-5 days, but who knows.  But, sometime this afternoon, we will be checking in to a room and starting his 3rd cycle of chemo.  As soon as I know our room number and what the cycle will look like we will be sure to post something.

There are so many nerves today, yet there is also a peace.  God has been so faithful and no matter what we find out today, we know that we are not facing it alone!  We have no idea what the next part of the journey looks like, but we will continue to walk one day at a time!  This isn't always easy, but we are learning so much about being content and realizing that God is big!

We welcome your prayers!  I will keep you posted!

Grace and Peace

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Sorry for the Absence

Sorry I have not posted in a couple of days.  It has been busy and not a lot as far as Caleb's medical side of life has happened.

Caleb is doing good!  His counts have been good and he has had a good couple of days.

Tuesday, because Caleb's counts are good, he has had the chance to do some cool things.  He went to a class swim party on Tuesday.  It was awesome for him to spend the day with his class since he has missed so much time with his classmates.  He had a great time and we were so glad that he could go.

Wednesday- Once again, because his counts were so good and because the last day of school, he was able to go and participate.  They had an awards chapel and it was cool for Caleb to be there and get an award.  After that, he went to class and hung out for the rest of the morning. The rest of the day he chilled and rested at home.  Later that night we cheered for Elektrolytes on ABDC and they made it through.

Today is another chill day.  It is also another wait day.  Tomorrow is such a big day and it seems that it starts at 11 am.  We have to call and find for sure what time things get rolling.  As soon as I know, I will post.

Once again, sorry for the absence.  But know that we are good and just waiting till tomorrow.

I will post more about tomorrow morning later.

Grace and Peace  

Monday, May 21, 2012

Suffering- Part 3


As I think about suffering, the Psalms come to mind more often than not.  I always encourage people who are hurting or going through a rough time to read the Psalms.  Over half the Psalms are what is called a lament...people crying out to God in the midst of a hurtful or hard time.  The language in the Psalms are sometimes gut wrenching honest.  Psalm 77 is an example of this.  Listen to the language of the first part of the Psalm.  

Psalm 77
I cried out to God for help;
    I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
    at night I stretched out untiring hands, 
    and I would not be comforted.
I remembered you, God, and I groaned; 
    I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.[b] 
You kept my eyes from closing;
    I was too troubled to speak. 
I thought about the former days, 
    the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night.
    My heart meditated and my spirit asked:
“Will the Lord reject forever? 
    Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
    Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful? 
    Has he in anger withheld his compassion? 

What honest language.  I love the fact that the writers of these great hymns/poems didn't try and sugar coat things...because life shouldn't allow for sugar coating sometimes.  Sometimes you just need to ask why?  Where are you?  Are you really letting this happen to me?  But in most laments, there is almost always a shift in the writers thoughts.  I love this one in particular.  
10 Then I thought, “To this I will appeal:
    the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand. 
11 I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
    yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will consider all your works
    and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”
13 Your ways, God, are holy.
    What god is as great as our God? 
14 You are the God who performs miracles; 
    you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, 
    the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
16 The waters saw you, God,
    the waters saw you and writhed; 
    the very depths were convulsed.
17 The clouds poured down water, 
    the heavens resounded with thunder; 
    your arrows flashed back and forth.
18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, 
    your lightning lit up the world;
    the earth trembled and quaked. 
19 Your path led through the sea, 
    your way through the mighty waters,
    though your footprints were not seen.

What does he do?  He remembers how good God is.  His faith and belief in God is not determined by God acting or doing the miracle in this situation, but He is God because he parted seas, delivered from slavery, He fed the children of Israel in the wilderness, etc.  The writer remembers that the story he is currently in the midst of isn't the entire story.  His story is wrapped up in a bigger story of a God who is faithful and a God who is present.  

I am not saying that ones response should be that of "Ok, I guess I will just accept this and get on with it" but rather remember and realize that people have been asking questions about God...who He is and where He is... for a long time.  And in the midst of whatever it is they are going through, they remember that He has always been present in the midst of suffering.  He probably didn't answer the prayers the way that they thought He would answer either.  I mean who would have thought that God would rain down bread from heaven?  Who would have thought God would have parted a sea?  Who would have thought that the way to defeat a city was to walk around it and yell?  Who would think that you beat giants with little rocks?  Who would think that God would use a left handed man?  Who would think that God would use a little shepherd boy to be king over a nation?  And who would think that God would use a cross to bring redemption back to creation?  

So, what do we do?  We always, always, always ask the questions.  The psalms prove that God is big enough to handle it!  Then, after the honest questions, we remember.  We remember that God has always been faithful to his people.  We remember that in the midst of whatever struggle they faced, He was right there with them.  We remember that because of who He was and who He is, that we serve a God who chooses to enter into our world and journey with us.  We remember that even when we can't feel Him, we can't stop Him from being everywhere.  

So, no matter what you are going through, cry out to God.  Allow yourself space to not move on, but to sit and embrace your situation.  After you have allowed yourself this space and time,  then allow yourself to live in the story of God...the story of a God who is redeeming creation back to himself.  Don't rush the crying out space...and when you have had the time you need, then you will be ready to see God in new ways in the midst of your struggle.  

Just some thoughts!

Blood Count

Ok...this is so crazy!  We just got the call from Amanda about his blood count and you will not believe what they were...drum roll please............

33,000!  Are you kidding me!  That is the highest it has ever been!  He went from 1080 on Thursday to 33,000 today!

Caleb is asleep now.  We just left the PET Scan room after they gave him the good medicine.  We are going over a few meds that he is on with the nurse and then we will head out to the waiting room.  Scan will be 1 1/2 hours long.  So, we are good!

I will keep you posted

My 21st, 2012

We are at the hospital and waiting to head back for procedure.  The port access went really well.  They took his blood and we are waiting to hear back from Amanda (our nurse at the clinic) about the results.

Hopefully we will get called back soon so that we can get started.

I will keep you posted!

May 20th, 2012


Today was a good day!  We had church this morning and it was a really good time.  It was our Mercy Project Sunday (Faith Promise) and we had a special speaker.  She was great!  Karla Sunberg was there and did a great job of introducing our next partnership in the horn of Africa. 

After church, we chilled at the house for a bit.

Then, I had a parent meeting this afternoon.  It was a good meeting.  We introduced several things that are changing this fall in our ministry.  All seemed to be on board and it turned out well.

After the meeting, the Johnson's were at our house hanging out.  It has been awhile since we have done this, so it was good to just be together.  

Tomorrow is a busy day!  I wake up early to go and pick up Seth at the airpot.  I think he gets here at 7:30 am.  Then, I will bring him home and he will stay with Cully while we take Caleb to get all of his scans done.  We have to be at the clinic between 9 and 9:30 am to draw blood and then over to the hospital to get his scans done.  They are supposed to start at 11 pm and should only take an hour.  Then, when Caleb wakes up and is ok, we should be able to come home.  

This week will be a long week.  We have to wait until  Friday to find out the results, so this weeks is going to be stressful as we have to be patient and wait.  Waiting is so hard...especially when what we are waiting to hear is what the next few weeks/months of our lives will look like and more importantly how the chemo is doing with the cancer in Caleb's body.  This is going to be worse than waiting for Christmas morning!

So, we could use your prayer tomorrow morning as Caleb goes in for the tests!  We are praying for improvement in his body and believe that we will see it.  We are also praying for an easy, non-eventful morning with the testing and blood work.  

We also need daily prayer, if not hour by hour, for patience and low anxiety as we wait for four days on the results.  We are already nervous and they have not even run the tests yet.  

Tera and I had a long talk last night about everything and fear is still something we experience often.  We still ask a lot of "what if" questions.  We still wonder why.  I am not sure that these are things we will ever get over...even when we hear the word "remission".  We are very hopeful and optimistic about getting rid of the cancer, but life will never be the same.  We are better people and although we have more faith than we have ever had, it often feels like it isn't much at the same time.  We still have so much to learn on this journey and we are doing our best to walk this out as faithful as we know how.

So, this week is a huge week.  We thank you in advance for the prayer that will be offered for us during this week.

I will post more tomorrow as we sit in the waiting.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Recap/New Day- May 19th, 2012

Last night, I was planning on getting some work done and posting, but I sat with Cully while he was going to sleep, then I laid down, and the next thing you know it was 6:30 in the morning.  I guess I was tired!

Caleb had a pretty good day yesterday.  He pretty much just chilled at the house all day.  Last evening, it was a little windy, so we took the kites that Uncle Seth bought the boys and headed for the field.  It was a good decision.  We flew them and they soared pretty high.  I was too busy to get any photos of the adventure, but trust me, it was a lot of fun!

We had some friends come over and eat some ice cream after that, the Rothert's.  It was a good time to just catch up and chat a bit.

Caleb slept pretty well last night and didn't want to get up this morning for Cully's last t-ball game.  But, he did.  We all did.  It was a fun time!  Cully enjoyed it and got his first trophy ever!  He is so proud of it. I will try and post a picture of him holding it later.

After t-ball, Cully went with Kim Elkins and her son Isaac to the PHX Science Museum.  He was really looking forward to it and I believe Kim was as well.  Caleb and I went to see a movie, a cartoon about pirates.  It was cute, but I am not sure that I will ever see it again.

We are now home and grabbing lunch.  I am heading to a couple of graduation parties and have church tonight.

So, it is a pretty chill day!

I will try and post more later!

Friday, May 18, 2012

Another Picture

My cousin Bethany sent me a picture a little while back and I couldn't find it.  So, I apologize to her for not putting it up a little earlier.

So, here is the long overdue picture from Bethany.  All I have is the after shot of her.


She told me she donates to Locks of Love on a regular basis which is an awesome thing!  She had enough hair to do this again in Caleb's honor!  We are so proud of you and proud that you are a part of our family!

So, thanks Bethany for the support not only to Caleb but also to all the others over the past who have been battling cancer!  It is such an awesome thing that you have done for them and for Caleb!  He loves the picture and thinks you look great!

If there are any more pictures out there, keep them coming.  We love the support and are very overwhelmed by it all!

I will post a recap of today soon!   It has been a busy day at work so I have not had a chance to post yet!

Grace and Peace

Recap of Today/Update- May 17th, 2012

Today was a good day on many levels.  Caleb hasn't felt the greatest, but it has been a good day.

Caleb slept pretty good.  He woke up feeling pretty good.  He had a little soreness in his body, but he seemed to manage the pain pretty well.

I went to staff meeting and left a little early so that we could get to the clinic on time.

When we got to the clinic, it was business as usual.  We accessed his port and had some blood drawn.  We waited on the results and Dr. Rosen to come in and let us know how Caleb was doing.  Port access went really well.  Caleb did awesome!

When the Dr. came in, she said his counts were 1, 080.  That is really good!  No blood transfusion needed!  They are not as high as we would like them, but they are coming back up from being down for sure.  So, we must continue the daily shot for now.  We should be able to stop them on Monday.  His counts need to be 3,000 in order to stop them.

The Dr. gave us a bit more information about what the next steps will look like.  On Monday, he will get scanned again...PET scan is what they call it.  That happens at 11 am.  Before that, they will draw some blood for his counts to make sure they are above 3,000.  Then, he will start his next round of chemo on Friday.  We will check in Friday morning and be in the hospital for at least 4-5 days for the next round.  Also, Friday morning is when we will meet with the Dr. to find out what the scans show.

Monday and Friday are big days.  Friday is probably the bigger of the two.  Monday he gets scanned, which is a big deal.  But Friday we will find out the results from the scan.  Based on what the Dr. sees in the scans, she will chart out the rest of this treatment.  If she still sees some cancer, then we are looking at 2 more heavy rounds of chemo and then 4 more what they call maintenance rounds.  Here is the crazy thing...if the scans look good and they do not see anything else, then he will have his last two rounds of chemo and be done!  Isn't that crazy!  This could all be over in 6 weeks.  We really don't want to jump ahead of ourselves but it is hard not to think about.

So, we are still just living a day at a time.  But, as you pray, know that a week from tomorrow is a huge day on this journey.  We are praying for God's grace in all of it and believe that no matter what the results are He will be with us through it all!  We would love the shorter time frame but ultimately we want Caleb better and if that means longer and more treatments, then that is what we will do.

We were only in the clinic for 1 1/2 hours (shortest time yet).

After we left the clinic, we went to grab a quick bite of lunch and then met Caleb's class at a froyo place.  They had earned an ice cream party and wanted him to come and join them.  They thought that he was not going to be able to be there and were so excited to see him there when they arrived.  It was an awesome sight and it is so cool to see his friends miss him and rally around him.

After that, I had a meeting at church so Tera and Caleb came home and watched movies together.  We are trying to make him rest as much as possible even though he feels like he could run and do whatever he wants.  This isn't always easy, but we try!

Tomorrow should be a chill day for him.  I have a couple of meetings I need to go to, but other than that we will be chilling.

Life is good!  It isn't always easy but it is good!  We are celebrating our day today and believe that tomorrow will bring some challenges but will be good as well.

Have a great day!  Sorry this is so long!

Grace and Peace

Thursday, May 17, 2012

More Pictures

Here are some more pictures of people cutting their hair for Caleb and in this case for locks of love.

This is one of Caleb's friends from school...Kyla.  She had really long hair and donated it to locks of love!  We are so proud of you and thankful that you are Caleb's friend!
Before...


After.  You look so cute!  Thanks for doing this!  It means so much to Caleb and our family.


Kyla's brother got in on the action as well.
Before...


After!


Keep sending in pictures and I will make sure they get on here.

A quick word and more later

Counts were really good.  They were 1080 and so that means no transfusion.

I will give more detail about next week later!

A New Day- May 17th, 2012

Caleb had a good night.  He is still al little achy, but took some pain meds and seems to be doing better.

Hopefully today we are going in for a check up and that is all.

I will keep you posted.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Day- May 16th, 2012

It has been a crazy day.  I had a meeting at 7 am, a meeting at 12 pm, a meeting at 2 pm, and a meeting at 6:45 pm.  I have not had time to post today.  It has been a crazy day!  I feel like the past week all I have done is sit in meetings.  We are in the midst of a few transitions in our church community and so it takes a lot of communication and meetings to all get on the same page.  So, that has been my lot in life lately.  It is very draining.  I am not complaining, just stating a fact.  All the meetings have been very good and I am super excited about the things that are taking place.  It just takes some time to get them going.

Caleb didn't have a good day today.  His counts are probably getting low (we find out tomorrow) and so he has felt like poop all day.  There is nothing major happening, he just drags around and doesn't seem to feel well at all.  He has complained that his bones hurt a bit, that his stomach hurts a bit, that his back hurts a bit, etc.  Nothing is so painful that he can't live, but it is enough that it makes life annoying for sure.

Caleb has an appointment tomorrow at 11 am.  They will take blood and see where his levels are.  We will also meet with Dr. Rosen again and hear more information about the 3rd cycle and what it will look like.  It will be good to know what it will be and be able to form a plan for the next little bit.  Of course it can always change in a moment, but at least we can feel like we are preparing.

We called the nurse today about Caleb's pain and she said that as long as he doesn't have a fever or isn't in pain that doesn't allow him to function, there isn't much they can do.  She said that the bones hurting may actually be good.  We give Caleb his daily shot and it is supposed to get his bones making white blood cells.  She said his bones may actually be working harder and thus this may be causing them to hurt.  Obviously she doesn't know, but she said it is a possibility.

Tomorrow, we are praying for good counts and a turn around in how he is feeling.  Depending on his counts, he could also receive a blood transfusion tomorrow as well.  But, we are hoping for good counts and that they are heading back up in the right direction.

Cooper, Caleb's friend, has had a rough couple of days.  He has had a fever the past couple of days and has been in and out of the hospital.  He was in the clinic all day and if he still has a temperature in the morning, they will have to check him into the hospital.  So, when you pray for Caleb, pray for Cooper as well.  Also pray for his family as they are experiencing a lot of the same emotions we are and we appreciate all the prayers for sure.

I will keep you posted throughout the day tomorrow on Caleb's counts and how he is doing!  I will also try and write the next installment of suffering.  I have an entry I really want to work on and so I need to work on it.

Talk with you tomorrow!

Grace and Peace

Thanks for all the prayers and support.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A New Day- May15, 2012

Caleb had his best shot time ever last night.  No crying before, during, or after. 

He is feeling a bit low.  He is hurting mildly but still hurting.  So, I think we have another chill day.  He struggles with telling us he is hurting because he equates it with other things happening that are not good.  So, he often is huritng but will not let us know.  We can see it, so we are really talking about honesty and how it is so important for him to let us know how he feels.  We are working through it.

I am in a meeting all day.  I will be checking in and seeing how he is doing throughout the day and will let you know.

Please pray for pain to be minimal and for a restful day. 

I will keep you posted!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Update

Caleb has had a pretty chill day and seems to be doing a bit better.  We made a video on his Ipod with lego guys, played a few hands of Monopoly Deal, and played some spy games with Pap Pap and Cully.

So, he seems to be doing well and we are going to have a chill evening.

I will post more later!

Lemonade Stand in Naples, FL

Thanks to all who helped work the lemonade stand in Naples, FL, especially Mrs. Cully's 4th Grade Class!  We really appreciate you taking time out of your day to help out Caleb.  He is really grateful and our family is extremely grateful for your work and help!

Here is another picture of our teen from OH, Angela, with a few students from the lemonade stand!



Thanks to all who helped and all who bought lemonade!  I heard it was a great day!

Grace and Peace

A New Day- May 14th, 2012

It is a new morning in many ways.  It is new because it isn't yesterday (sorry, corny joke), and it is new because today is the day I am back on some sort of normal eating and exercise plan.  I stepped on the scale this morning and it wasn't pretty.  This experience in life has pushed me back to old eating habits and old exercise habits.  So, today is a new beginning on that front.  I will keep you posted on how things are "shaping" up (ok, I know, another corny joke)!

Caleb woke up at 5:50 am for the 2nd straight day.  I am not sure why, but the good thing is he is old enough to entertain himself and keep himself busy.  He woke up saying his entire body is hurting and achy.  This could be a combination of a lot of things.   He has been swimming and going with normal activity for several days now.  I am sure that would make his muscles a little sore.  Plus, in the timeline from when his treatment ended, he could be starting to bottom out a bit with his counts as well.

So, we are going to have a chill day and let his body rest.  He and Cully are playing Xbox right now.  They need help getting through a board so super dad is on the way.

Pray that Caleb's body doesn't have too much pain or no pain would be great as well.

We have a little work on our house to do...laundry, cleaning, etc.

I will keep you posted on how Caleb is doing.

Grace and Peace  

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day Performance

Every year, our pre-school choir, known as the Sonbeam Choir, performs in our gatherings for Mother's Day.  Cully is in this choir.

Here is a link to a video of today's performance.

Enjoy!

Cully's Performance

Lemonade Stand and an old friend

Yesterday, there was a lemonade stand in Naples, FL to help raise funds for Caleb!  One of our teens from Mount Vernon (ok, she isn't officially a teen anymore, but she will always be one of our teens) was on a vacation in Ft. Lauderdale, FL and heard about the stand on the blog.  So, she drove all the way over to Naples and was there to buy some lemonade.  Here is a picture!  Her name is Angela.


Thanks Angela!  That is so cool that you did that!  Congratulations on graduating from college!  We are so proud of you!

Thanks to all who made it our to the stand in Naples!  We are once again very blessed by all who are thinking, praying, and helping out!

Grace and Peace

A New Day- May 12th, 2012

Happy Mother's Day to Tera, my mom, and all the other mom's out there.

Sorry I didn't post yesterday.  It was a crazy day and last night I was so tired I just didn't post.  Nothing is wrong, just did not get around to it.

Yesterday started at Cully's T-ball game.  It was awesome!  Nothing out the ordinary, but it was just fun being with him and enjoying time together.

Then, I had a meeting until 3 pm.  It was a really good meeting and a lot of work got done.

After the meeting, I came home and we had our weekly hair shaving/trim (we do this eery Saturday).

After that, it was off to the store with Cully to shop for Mother's Day.  Caleb was feeling a little tired so he stayed home.  Don't worry...we talked before we left and a few times while we were shopping on the phone asking if he liked what we were finding.

After we got back, we had dinner.  It was amazing!

After dinner, I went over to the church for our Saturday evening gathering.  I met a family that had been going to our church for 3 years and had a great conversation.  I also met a family who moved here 3 weeks ago and they have a son in the 8th grade!  It was good to meet them and talk to them about what we do with our teens!

After church, I came home and gave Caleb his shot.  Yesterday was the beginning of our daily shot again.  It went pretty well.  Caleb was a little apprehensive, but all in all he did good.

Caleb had a great day!  He slept in until 9:30 am!  That was pretty crazy!  He really just hung out at the house all day.  He was pretty active and even had a swim with Uncle Seth and Pap Pap!  He went to bed around 8:30.  So, it was a pretty uneventful day.

Today, we are off to church!  Cully's pre-school choir always sings for Mother's Day.  We will get some video of it and make sure we post it somehow on here.  He is pretty excited about it!  Caleb is coming to the 2nd service so that he can see him sing.

After church, I think it is a pretty chill day! Caleb was up at 5:15 am.  Not sure why, but he looks good and says he feels good.

So, back to blogging.  Sorry again if the lack of post caused some to worry.  It was just a crazy day!

Grace and Peace

Friday, May 11, 2012

Pictures from today- May 11, 2012


Here are several pictures from our day today.  I hope you enjoy them!

This is how Caleb got from his pre-procedure room where they prep him for his procedure to his procedure room!  You have to love Phoenix Children's Hospital!  

Another shot of the hummer!


After his procedure, we stopped by his school so he could see his friends!  It was good for Caleb and I believe his friends enjoyed seeing him as well.

Here he is with the guys in his class!

Here is his entire class!


 Here they are again!

And of course you had to have a funny shot!

Thanks Mrs. Gillette for taking these pictures!  They are awesome!

This last one has a story!  I have been eyeing this mug for quite some time.  Every time Cully and I go to Starbucks, he always wants me to buy it.  I love elephants because of my love for the University of Alabama.  So, when I first saw it, I felt like I needed it.  I could never pull the trigger though and buy it.

I was telling Caleb's 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Henderson, and her daughter Moriah about it.  Moriah just got a job at Starbucks and it turns out her favorite animal is the elephant as well.

So, she bought both of us an elephant mug!  Here I am enjoying my first cup of joe with it.  I think the mug makes the coffee taste better!  Thank you so much Moriah for the mug!  I will use it all the time.


Thanks again to Moriah who purchased two flyers for Caleb to put on her schools banner they made for their Walk for Life!  She did this on her own and spent her own money.  So, when they participate in the walk, there will be two papers with Caleb's name on it...one from Caleb's school and one from their family!  What an awesome young lady!  We appreciate your thoughtfulness and I appreciate the mug!

All in all it has been a good day!  I will post more later!

Grace and Peace

Suffering- Part 2

I believe that in the book of Job, we see two responses to what has taken place in his life.  In chapter 1, we read:

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said:
Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
    and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; 

    may the name of the Lord be praised.”

Now, this is nice and pretty and it makes for a really nice song.  But I have to be honest...if both of my children were killed, my house burned down, my cars taken away, and almost everything else I owned was destroyed or stolen, I am not sure I could say, "Well, you know the Lord gives and the Lord takes away" like they were a toy car or something.  Trust me, I know that everything I have is a gift from God, but I am not sure that would be my response.  I know when I heard Caleb had cancer, it wasn't close to my response.  


However, if you read a couple of chapters later, chapter 3, the response is a bit different.  Maybe different is the wrong word, but I feel it is a little more honest and better look at what Job is feeling on the inside.  It says (just a few verses):


“May the day of my birth perish,
    and the night that said, ‘A boy is conceived!’ 
That day—may it turn to darkness;
    may God above not care about it;
    may no light shine on it.



“Why did I not perish at birth,
    and die as I came from the womb? 
12 Why were there knees to receive me 
    and breasts that I might be nursed?



What I feared has come upon me;
what I dreaded has happened to me. 
I have no peace, no quietness;
I have no rest, but only turmoil.”


The chapter has more to say and if you continue to read the book of Job, there is even more open and honest response that Job gives in the face of his tohu v vohu.  I mean he curses the day of his birth and even the one who helped in his birth.  That is pretty raw and honest!


Timothy Keller in a sermon he did on suffering said that usually in the church there are two responses to suffering.  He said:
Response 1- Don't question God!  He has reasons beyond your finite little mind.  And therefore just accept everything.  Don't question.
Response 2- I don't know what God is up to--I have no idea at all about why these things are happening.  There's no way to make sense of it all.  


I am not sure that either response is the greatest, but maybe there is a third way to look at suffering.  What if instead of saying that God has reasons beyond our reasons or who knows what God is up to we had a sense that God was going to use us exactly where we are?  What if God doesn't waste any pain?  What if God doesn't cause it but will use what we go through for good?  What if there is no reason it is happening other than it happens and God works through it all?  


What if our prayer is "God, whatever I face today, make me more like you!  Help me to act like you, think like you, and see people like you see them no matter where I am or what I face today!  I know that I cannot do this in my own power, so I will need your help...in fact, it would just be better if you could do it in me!  Help me to see you in everyone and everything and realize that there is nowhere that I can go that you are not already there!  Make me more like you every second of every day!"


What if I didn't act like God was in a far off place and someone who couldn't be engaged but rather someone who entered into life and the struggles of life with me?  What if I didn't make him smaller by not realizing that He can handle the questions?  What if I asked, "Ok, I don't understand and I think this really stinks, but I know I am not alone and that you are as upset as I am about this situation."  


I will close with another quote from Keller.  He said, "Scripture shows us that God identifies with the suffering  On the cross we sufferers finally see to our shock that God now knows too what it is to lose a loved one in an unjust attack."  Ok...actually one more quote that I used in my sermon on Sunday by a guy named John Stott.  He said, "I could never myself believe in God if it were not for the cross.  In the real world of pain, how would one worship a God who was immune to it?"  


Can I question God?  Sure.  Do I just accept the circumstances without wondering why?  I don't think so.  But one thing I can do, look for God and look for what I can learn about being more like Him through the suffering.  


I think suffering has one of two outcomes.  I can become bitter and angry or I can become compassionate and loving.  I would rather be the latter.  Bitterness and anger seem like a dead end street to me!    


Grace and Peace