Recap of Today- April 20th, 2012

Today was an interesting day!  I have experienced a wide range of emotions and that is something I am working through.  Some of them good and some of them not so good...all of it is pretty hard!  We have been saying everyday that this is our new norm.  We are realizing something different everyday about what the "norm" will actually be like.  Honestly, I am not sure that I like all that it brings.  It would be so much easier if we could just go back to life before caner.  As soon as I say that though, I would not be where I am today were it not for our journey these past several weeks.  One thing I do know...I would give it all back in a second for Caleb to be better!  That I know for sure!  But, this is where we are...and so we will journey on no matter what it brings!

This morning, I think I posted that we went to the clinic and gave Caleb his 1st shot.  They wanted us there to watch him for an hour after the shot and make sure he didn't have any reactions to it.  It didn't go so well.  However, this is a new norm for us...not going to the clinic for a shot, but rather a shot at our house everyday!  So, tomorrow morning, we will give Caleb his shot in the comfort of our own house...we are hoping that our house will bring comfort to an uncomfortable situation for him!

After the shot, he had a really good day.  We came home, ate lunch, and then Caleb went with Tera to get her hair cut!  I think he enjoyed it and Tera's new hair looks really nice!

After the hair cut, everyone was back at home for dinner.  Tera and myself had a volunteer appreciation event with our church and so we got ready and went to that.  This was the first time that one of us has not been with Caleb in the last 3 weeks.  There was a little anxiety for him about us leaving and not being there.  After we talked with him a bit, he seemed ok with us going.  We knew that he would be ok, but he wasn't so sure!  We told him to call if he needed anything...a couple of hours later he did!  Tera left the event and came home.

When I got home, everyone was asleep.

Life is different!  Although we are home, it obviously isn't the same!  Don't get me wrong, everyone being home is amazing and if life is going to be different, I would rather it be different with everyone in the same place.  Just like we had to adjust to what it was like to live life with Caleb in the hospital, we now have to adjust to what life is like now when we are all home.  It is not the same as life at home before cancer.  Once again, please know that I am not complaining, I would take this new norm over where we have been...but it isn't easy now that we are home.  Easier, but not easy.

One thing I know...tomorrow is a new day!  No matter how different today was, we have a new day to figure it out and make it work!  Tomorrow, we will give another shot and I believe that it will be a bit better than today.  If not, we will get to try it again the next day!  Whatever we face, we are doing it together and that makes things better no matter how you look at it!

God has been reminding me of a sermon that i preached about a month ago.  The sermon in a nutshell was that we cannot go anywhere that God is not already there!  He has reminded me of that again and again!  I told one of our pastors at our church, Pastor Ed, that I think I preached that sermon for me!  I have needed it I think more than anyone who may have heard me preach it!  God has used several people to remind me of His words spoken through me that weekend again and again!  Tonight was no different.  Our lead pastor's mom was coming through our welcome line tonight at our event.  She stopped when she got to me and said, "You know what?  That sermon that you preached about God being everywhere...God keeps bringing that to my mind again and again.  That is something I have probably always believed and known, but after you taught it I can't get it off of my mind.  I wake up in the morning and think 'God is here right now!'  Thank you so much for preaching that...it has helped me so much!"

Well, it was just preached to me again tonight!  No matter what we go through as a family, we do not face it alone.  No matter where it takes us, God will be there waiting for us!  No matter what may come, God will be waiting on us, comforting us and giving us grace to face whatever we are in the midst of!  I can't say that this is easy!  I can't say that there are not times that I don't wonder why?  I can't say that I don't doubt everything will be ok.  But one thing I know, the tomb is empty, God is alive and because of that, He is with us!  For tonight, that is enough!

Sorry so long!

Grace and Peace