Recap from Today- April 22nd, 2012

Today was a different day for Caleb.  Different can be good, but in this case not so much.  Caleb had his 1st "bottoming out" experience today.  We knew his counts were going to be dropping and that it would potentially be happening by today or tomorrow.  Today was the day.  I guess we do not have scientific evidence that his counts were low, but his body an demeanor gave us an idea that they were.

We started the day at church.  Caleb went with us this morning and we had him wear a mask.  We also did not go into a building whatsoever (except when we left, we walked through our worship center).  You can tell it was very overwhelming for him.  Many people wanted to see him and talk with him.  For an 8 year old, it was a lot!

We were there for about 45 min. or so and Caleb was ready to go home.  So, my brother stayed at home with him for the rest of the morning while Tera and I did a few things we needed to get done.  It is great having Seth here.  He is such a huge help!

After church, we ate some lunch...meatballs, mashed potatoes and asparagus.  Caleb loves this meal but didn't really feel like eating.  He was looking pretty tired, so after lunch, I took him upstairs for a nap.  I laid down with him and he slept for about 2 1/2 hours (I have to admit I fell asleep with him).  Tera, Seth and Cully went to Target and a few other stores to pick up a few things we needed.

After he woke up, he was still tired and not feeling good.  It was weird...you could tell he didn't feel well, but it wasn't like anything was hurting him.  He just didn't feel good!  There were little things throughout the afternoon that he would say hurt.  But, other than a little stomach pain, he couldn't tell us what was wrong.  He laid around, watched some TV, and then was in bed by 8:30 pm ready to go to sleep.

It isn't easy watching your child suffer!  It isn't easy not being able to help your child.  I mean you can only give him so much medicine and although it may have helped a few of the symptoms, it didn't really help.

Tera and I had a long talk tonight.  We are both really scared!  Sure, we know that the doctors are very optimistic.  Sure, we believe that Caleb is going to be alright.  Sure, we have a support system like no other.  But when you watch you child have a lifeless afternoon, it is hard not to be scared.  What if the cancer is getting worse?  What if something else is happening in his body that we don't know about?  Rest assured, the doctors have assured us that that is worse case scenario...but what if?

After a little while, we realized that we made it through another day and that tomorrow is a new day.  All we can do is take it a day at a time and we know that together and with God's presence journeying with us we can make it through anything!

Today wasn't easy at all, but we made it.  When you pray, pray that Caleb has strength to do what he needs to do tomorrow.  We do not have a lot that we need to get done tomorrow which is good.  

Also, pray for mom and dad.  We are both still working through what this means for us an our family.  I am sure it could potentially mean something different everyday.  But pray for us, especially Tera, to have peace, good sleep, and be able to rest not only at night but throughout the days as well.  In our own mind we can't do this for 6-9 months.  But, we really don't have a choice.

So, we will journey on.  No matter what comes, we believe that God's grace will be enough for the situation.  It truly is "Amazing Grace"!

Thanks for your prayers!  Have a good night!

Grace and Peace