Recap of Today- April 24th, 2012

Seth and I were walking to the elevator from the hospital.  I was going to go to Cully's t-ball practice and Seth was getting a few things from the car that Tera needed.  We got into the elevator of the parking garage, I leaned my head back agains the wall and said, "Man, this is not at all how I thought this day would go."  Funny how things interrupt our plans sometimes.  Honestly, this cancer didn't interrupt some plans for our family, it interrupted our entire life!

Tera knew that Caleb didn't feel well and that his counts were probably low.  So, we bumped his Thursday appointment up to today.  Later I found out we didn't actually bump the appointment on Thursday, today was just going to be another visit to make sure he was doing ok.  So, a the most we thought we would spend a few hours in the clinic and potentially get a transfusion so boost Caleb up a bit and help him feel better.  

When we got there, his counts were actually not that bad.  They were a little low, but not necessarily low enough for a transfusion.  He could have gotten one and it would have been ok but he wasn't so low that they thought, "He has to have a transfusion today."  That was good news.  But, he had sores in his mouth that were hurting him really bad.  It was also hurting him to swallow.  So, when they looked in his mouth, they found that not only did he have many sores in his mouth but that some of them were infected.  When they checked his temp, he also had a fever.  

The situation went from, "Counts look good, he looks good" to "he has many sores...probably even down his throat and stomach lining.  They are infected and he has a fever.  We need to admit him to hospital to help with pain, help sores heal and observe and make sure his fever doesn't get any worse."  Wow!  Talk about  a total shift!  

So, Caleb now calls 7126 home, but hopefully only for a couple of days.  They have him on ever kind of anti-biotic I have heard of and some others I haven't even heard of.  They also have him on some pain meds as well as a cream that they wipe in his mouth to help numb the pain.  I am not sure they know why the sores are so bad, but if something they are giving him doesn't work I am not sure anything will!  Tera was telling me everything that he was on and I was just impressed she could remember it all.

I came home with Cully.  Caleb seems to understand that this is only temporary and will only be a few days, but Cully had a hard time leaving tonight.  It is still very real and vivid.  We told him that Caleb was going to get to be home for 2 weeks before he ha to go back into the hospital for more chemo.  When I told him that Caleb was back in the hospital, he said, "Has it been two weeks already?"  

Here we are again!  We are in good spirits!  Caleb is being taken care of and his pain alleviated at the moment.  I can't say that it is fun or what we planned, but if it is helping Caleb rest better tonight than he might be at home it is ok.  I don't really like it, but we are praying it is only for a couple of days.  

I am very tired!  We were sort of getting into some sort of routine again.  Obviously it wasn't a well tuned routine, but some sort of routine non-the-less.  Now, back to driving a ton, sitting at the hospital, making sure Caleb and Cully are ok and taken are of and sleeping in two different places as a family.  Even though it was the first day, I am pretty worn out.  

I have been thinking a lot about the cross and what it means that Christ "entered into" our suffering.  He didn't stay far off, but came to where we are and entered into our situation.  What a great God we serve!  Not sure I could serve a God immune to suffering.  Seems like he would have no idea what I was going through.  But, I don't have to worry about it, for our God entered the world, was betrayed, mocked, spit upon, crucified and even died.  But, we have hope because even though he entered into our world, he brought redemption through his death and resurrection so that we could have hope no matter what circumstance we are in!

Cancer is a nasty thing...chemo is a nasty thing as well.  Don't get me wrong, we love chemo and how it is helping Caleb.  But, no matter how bad it gets, we remember that God gives grace to make it through any situation!   In our weakness, he is strong!  This reminds me of a song and I will close today with the lyric.

Jesus loves me this i know

for the Bible tells me so

Little ones to him belong

They are weak but he is strong.

We are resting in the healing, powerful, strong, comforting hands of Jesus tonight.  We pray that we all rest well, that Caleb feels a bit better tomorrow and that we have a good day!

Grace and Peace